Certain Subjects Can Be Healing Yet Annoying:

Living as an orphan can be quite tough for children as well as adults.

I guess that orphaned infants & toddlers may not feal the pain of being bereaved much until when they become aware of their existence at around age 4 or 5 & later when they become alert to their living conditions.

…. .

From the moment such children become aware of their lives or existence, they may experience the pains and challenges of ‘orphanhood’ from the type of treatment and conditions provided by the the guardians or foster parents…

… while some may get very good treatment including love and support, others may be mistreated and end up with psycho-social issues including much trauma which may mar their childhood and exhaust them as they try to come to terms with such issues even in their entire adulthood.

In reflecting, I remember my loving paternal grandmother, who was my good friend and a good friend to many.

…. Cucu Rebecca Wanjiru often told us that she and her brother Ayub Kagu(aka Mwangi) (may their souls & other departed souls continue resting in peace), were total orphans who were brought up by well wishers including neighbors and relatives.

Their parents Mburu (or Muiru) & Njoki died when the two siblings were toddlers. Though we do not know much about her mother Njoki’s family, we know a bit about her father Mburu’s family & people (the Muiru’s family as Cucu fondly described her people).

… And as a social & friendly person, Cucu Rebecca regularly visited her relatives (both on our grandfather’s Isaac Kariuki’s side and on her side) accompanied by some of our siblings on such visits.

The visits were to places such as Eldoret (Uasin Gishu County), Nakuru County and Githunguri-Kamburu & Kihenjo (Kiambu County) and where we met some of the relatives including the uncles & their wives /aunties.

Cucu also often & fondly remembered & mentioned some of them such as Kirithivo (Chrispo), Ethiteri(Esther), Thitanili (Stanley) & Veninah (Peninah) wa Karichu.

Equally, Cucu Rebecca was especially fond of one of the uncles (i guess she spent many years with him) whom she called Chege wa Nyagachu and whose home was in Uplands sub county (Kiambu). She regularly mentioned that Chege brought her up with love.

… I guess Chege died many years ago and Cucu lost touch with Chege’s family seeing that we never heard or saw her traveling to Uplands.

… We are, however, privileged to know that Cucu Rebecca had relatives and that we can remember them and their offsprings in our family trees prayers.

Fortunately & apparently, Cucu Rebecca and grandfather (Guka) Ayub adjusted well to their bereavement and went on to mature and raise families of their own and left good legacies as people who loved and cared for others including relatives, friends and the wider community.

On the other hand, people who lose parents in adulthood definitely have own unique experiences and stories to tell. Trying to guess some of the issues that the ‘total adult orphans’ face may be a tall order. Definitely, most bereaved adults mourn parents and eventually heal by God’s grace.

Yet, the adults who have lost both parents and at times in their prime ages, may in reflection feel immensely lonely, especially when they may need a sincere person from whom they can seek advice or counsel.

They may lack someone to encourage them and urge them on in the fight of life. They may lack a sincere, neutral figure that can help them in assessing life issues and knowing where next to turn when life challenges prove a bit overwhelming….

Faced with social issues & pressures such as wrong biases or judgements or false accusations from the wider Society or even provocations from neighboring families or other community members, totally bereaved families may feel devoid of genuine loving protectors or a reconciliation force..

….

Particularly, totally bereaved adults, depending on other factors, may lack a unifying figure especially when differences arise or when they face controversial issues which the deceased parents would obviously have tried to navigate in all sincerity…. .

In the current situations where love has apparently ‘gone cold’ (of course blamed on many present day realities) and where many people have opted to mind own issues even among families and extended families, bereaved adults may lack genuine and sincere mediators and reconciliation endeavors.

Yet despite the harsh realities, God almighty still remains the greatest help in these among other troubling and tough realities.

Nevertheless, it remains evident that genuine, sincere love,( as has been advocated in the Holy Writs and as life experiences have proven), shall remain the only real recourse in these and related and almost unavoidable realities, situations and circumstance.