BELATED MOTHER’S DAY THOUGHTS
Are these WILD, WANDERING yet SOBER THOUGHTS & Reflections or just plain thoughts?
I was born and grew up in a generation that did not openly declare our love for parents and siblings and other relatives despite the fact that we genuinely loved them.. .
… I guess we were nurtured and cultured to believe in the saying that ‘actions speak louder than words’; we thus counted on our actions or lack of the same to speak on our behalf. I believe this reality still applies today for many from my & other generations.
From my observations, people from later generations today face the double challenge of both declaring love and showing it in actions, and of course in some actions which today (to me) appear rather showy or exaggerated. But this is neither here nor there but the ‘actions speak louder than words’ mantra and reality still reigns supreme.
I’ve observed that verbal declarations of love really do not uffice with questions such as, “shall we feed on mere words or will words put maize flour on the table?” surfacing in many instances.
So I hereby declare that I loved and still love my parents and siblings and relatives despite the odds we faced or still face together.
I endeavor to pray for my siblings & relatives almost daily and believe God almighty hears and adds me heavenly ‘bonga’ points though my real motive, i believe is love not the ‘bonga points’. Some of these people love me in return and even openly declare so and I believe it is the Holy Spirit of God’s doing.
Both of my parents are long deceased 33 years & 18 years for my father and mother respectively and may God almighty continue resting their souls in peace.
For now, I wish to write briefly about my mother, (Mami was the word I and my siblings fondly used in addressing or referring to her. To my father, she was fondly ‘Jacie’) Jacinta Waithira.
… On Mother’s Day this year (May 10th) an early morning blackout interfered with my thoughts train and program and i somehow forgot to jot something in her honour and memory.
Perhaps I should say here that the reasons why I like jotting some of my thoughts and experiences is not just to honour people and the times God almighty favoured us with the people but also to capture history that posterity and children in the family and wider family may get access to later in their lives if they shall be so inspired or shall care.
Mami was a beautiful person with a beautiful soul. She was chocolate brown with a long nice hair (though I tend to feel that she tortured the hair with the traditional ‘Gichini’ – – an implement that was burned in open charcoal stoves and used to straighten – – burn – – hair those days and the equivalent of present – day blow – drier).
Mami was equally kind, quiet and polite and indeed polite to a fault I tend to think. I guess it is in her family seeing that one of her surviving brothers is also extremely humble and polite.
She was also accommodating and loving this explaining the fact that we lived with our paternal grandmother throughout her elderly years–indeed up from the time we gained our consciousness of life.
We also lived with many relatives who sojourned with us seeking opportunities or pursuing education given that our home was near the then quite attractive Nairobi City. All of those visitors were fed by my parents with my Mami as the chief chef.
She loved her children equally and i do not recall any moment when she showed favoritism to any of us including I who was named after her dad as culture demands where we originated from. In our childhood quarrels with my elder bro Kariuki, I would retreat to her reporting that Kariuki had wronged me expecting protection but she would instead discipline or harangue both of us..
About her politeness, i later thought that some of her friends and relatives may have taken advantage of this leaving her with no firm stand or wearing away her personal convictions.
Yet, I do not recall any time that she quarreled with anyone else. But not to mean that she was superhuman because in my childhood innocence, I would eavesdrop on her conversations with friends and close relatives and i could hear her complaining over some issues (a story for another day).
Her kindness was evident in her care for us– bringing up the six of us (and also caring for Cucu Rebecca) in keenly cooking daily and doing the washing for all of the six of us. In fact, our uniforms would always be sparkling clean with our teachers at our nearby primary school severally pointing out I and my siblings when examples of cleanliness and smartness were necessary.
Every week day, we would rush home for lunch during lunch break to find warm good food awaiting our consumption. In the evening, as she cooked she would with great concern advise us to sit by the open door lest sleepiness would catch up with us before we had taken supper. Those days, apparently, sleepiness would arrive in our eyes as early as 6pm.
Mami spent her entire life taking care of her family and even some grandchildren. Evidently, my father was a good provider and never encouraged her to venture into any other careers with some of our relatives silently complaining that she had obeyed our father to the hoot.
In other terms, she was a very good full- time ‘housewife’, a term that has gained recognition and respect in modern days given the efforts and skill this takes.
Mami got married to my father (who was around 26) at around 20 years after abandoning her learning at a then prestigious girls’ shool. Initially, this caused a conflict within her family but this was later resolved amicably.
In reflection, I have great respect and love for my parents for taking the risk of marriage early in life. Inexperienced and not much exposed given their time in our country’s history and development stage, they did a great job nurturing us and God was their great help.
Yet at times, I get to think that perhaps life would have turned out differently had my Mami completed schooling.
Perhaps, exposure would have highlighted the talents and other potentials that she had. But that is water under the bridge already.
Such thoughts come to mind when I think of a verse in the Holy Bible which indicates that God almighty shall require an account of how we, each one of us!, utelized our talents.
But mine is perhaps needless concern because our Father in heaven already know our past and future even before we are born into this earth.
Nevertheless, I shall always honour & love my parents and believe they are in a better place.
The important thing are the lessons i gained from my parents (Fafa & Mami) and especially on the essence of love, kindness, peace, humility, patience and generosity. They never gave up in life and worked hard despite the odds including very difficult times in their delicate childhood after the 1952 MAU MAU uprising.
The greatest honour i shall accord my Fafa & Mami is embracing the values they espoused and cultivating and sustaining the virtues i saw in them.
I never saw them quarrel even once in our presence or in public though like all human beings, I (in my childhood intelligence and innocence) somehow knew they had their own differences.
Yet the differences never separated them.
After our Fafa passed on, we spent 15 years with our Mami. We went through tough times when she got sick and even had her left palm amputated from diabetes complications. We strived on up to her last moments when the complications snuffed life out of her.
Yet we give all the glory and honor to God almighty for having blessed us with Fafa & Mami and their (our) family… .
Our family was not neither classic nor perfect but God almighty gave us the chance to be family and experiences which we can today share with others and even reflect on.
From Fafa & Mami some of the greatest lessons were on love, generosity, humility patience, peace and especially caring for others
